Twenty-Juan Reasons Why

 

Twenty-Juan Reasons Why (You Should Hire Me)

 
  1. Do you like golf? I can hit a hole in Juan.

  2. If you’re sick, I’ll make you juan-ton Soup.

  3. I’m a juanderful cook, really.

  4. Like candy? Me too. They call me Willy Juanka.

  5. Texting is an art. The importance of a well-placed emotijuan is not lost on me

  6. I’m always down for a road-trip. How about Saskatchejuan, Canada?

  7. Star wars fan? Same. Call me Obi-Juan Kenobi.

  8. I won’t judge you for putting too much Parmesjuan cheese on your food.

  9. Metal music fan? I’ve seen Mastodjuan. Twice.

  10. I appreciate the nujuance of a good cheese.

  11. Like kids? Well, juance upon a time, I wrote a children’s book.

  12. I know at least five magic tricks. No magic juand necessary.

  13. Fan of Grease? You’re the juan that I want (ooh ooh ooh).

  14. My 8th grader teacher did a great job (Thanks, Ms. Ostrowski!). I can identify most Polygjuans.

  15. Like winners? Well, Bernbach, I juant to win.  

  16. Curiosity is a beautiful thing. And I’m constantly juandering.  

  17. Not every-juan is able cross their eyes—But I can.

  18. I stay up to date with cultural phenomejuans.

  19. I’m Juan in a million.

  20. If you juant someone on your team that can make limericks on the spot, then I’m your person.

  21. I’m on good terms with both Gallagher brothers. Anyway, here’s Juanderwall.