Twenty-Juan Reasons Why (You Should Hire Me)
Do you like golf? I can hit a hole in Juan.
If you’re sick, I’ll make you juan-ton Soup.
I’m a juanderful cook, really.
Like candy? Me too. They call me Willy Juanka.
Texting is an art. The importance of a well-placed emotijuan is not lost on me
I’m always down for a road-trip. How about Saskatchejuan, Canada?
Star wars fan? Same. Call me Obi-Juan Kenobi.
I won’t judge you for putting too much Parmesjuan cheese on your food.
Metal music fan? I’ve seen Mastodjuan. Twice.
I appreciate the nujuance of a good cheese.
Like kids? Well, juance upon a time, I wrote a children’s book.
I know at least five magic tricks. No magic juand necessary.
Fan of Grease? You’re the juan that I want (ooh ooh ooh).
My 8th grader teacher did a great job (Thanks, Ms. Ostrowski!). I can identify most Polygjuans.
Like winners? Well, Bernbach, I juant to win.
Curiosity is a beautiful thing. And I’m constantly juandering.
Not every-juan is able cross their eyes—But I can.
I stay up to date with cultural phenomejuans.
I’m Juan in a million.
If you juant someone on your team that can make limericks on the spot, then I’m your person.
I’m on good terms with both Gallagher brothers. Anyway, here’s Juanderwall.